Try a very simple test. Open the assistant you use most, and type: "What do you know about me?"
Many people are surprised by the answer. Their job, their city, their habits, the first names of their children, a project mentioned only once months ago.
It is not a trap: it is a feature. Assistants remember what you tell them so they can answer you better later. But you have the right to know what they keep, and to sort through it. Here is how, in ten minutes.
Two kinds of memory
Before you start, you should know that most assistants remember things in two different ways.
Memories. These are pieces of information the assistant has noted about you: "works in accounting", "is vegetarian", "is planning a trip to Japan". It uses them in all your subsequent conversations.
History. Some assistants can also go back and reread your old conversations to find context there.
The two are not always managed in the same place. On some services, deleting a conversation does not remove the memories drawn from it. So you need to look at both.
Step 1: ask the question
The test at the start is a good starting point. The answer is not always complete, but it gives you an idea of what the assistant has in mind.
Step 2: open the settings
In the settings, look for a section called "Memory" or "Personalisation". The names vary from one service to another, and from one update to the next, but the idea is the same everywhere.
There you will generally find three options: view the list of what has been retained, delete a specific item, or switch memory off entirely.
Step 3: clear things out
Go through the list with two questions in mind.
Is it still true? You have changed jobs, cities, opinions. An outdated memory leads to answers that miss the mark. Delete it.
Do I want this kept? A health concern, a money matter, a confidence about someone close to you. What was useful to you one evening does not need to stay on a server indefinitely.
Step 4: use discreet mode
For sensitive subjects, most assistants offer a temporary, or private, conversation that is not memorised. It is the equivalent of private browsing in an internet browser.
Get into the habit of opening it before talking about something you do not want to find again later.
Step 5: go further if needed
In Europe, you have the right to ask a company to delete the personal data it holds about you. If the settings are not enough, you can make the request directly to the service concerned.
A setting not to be confused with another
Memory is what the assistant retains in order to answer you. It is different from another setting: the one that decides whether your conversations can be used to improve the AI, and sometimes be read by humans. We explained this yesterday in relation to photos sent to Copilot. Both are worth checking.
What to take away
Memory needs maintaining. Do this little round once a quarter, the way you sort through your paperwork. Ten minutes is enough, and you will know exactly who you are talking to, and what they know about you.
And if the underlying question interests you, last night we were wondering whether we really want an assistant that forgets nothing.